What if you’re not as self-aware as you think?

Research by organisational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich undertaken back in 2018 discovered that while about ninety-five percent of people believed themselves to be self-aware only about ten to fifteen percent actually fit the criteria for true self-awareness which involves understanding oneself and how our actions impact upon others.

What exactly is self-awareness though and why might it be important for those aspiring to be great – or at least good – leaders?

True self-awareness goes beyond simply knowing what you like or dislike. In general terms it is recognised as an ability to understand one’s own thoughts, emotions, motivations, strengths and weaknesses and how these influence actions, impact upon others and how you’re perceived as a consequence. It also involves recognising how you come across to others and the effect you have on your environment. 

So why is there such disconnect then between those that are self-aware and those that think they are?

Overconfidence could well be an issue for many as, generally speaking, it’s accepted that most people overestimate their own levels of self-awareness, leading to a false sense of understanding. It can be challenging for many individuals to objectively assess their own behaviours, thoughts and emotions especially when they are unaware of their own blind spots. 

Why does any of this actually matter though? Individuals unaware or ignorant of these blind spots can actually hinder team success, create stress, decrease motivation and massively increase the likelihood of employee turnover. 

A lack of self-awareness can also create personal growth limitations preventing individuals from identifying areas for improvement, essential for personal development and mental well-being. 

So perhaps you’re self-aware enough to recognise that you’re not quite as self-aware as you thought but how – perhaps with the help of a good coach – might you cultivate greater self-awareness?

Start by seeking out feedback. Regularly ask for honest and constructive feedback from trusted sources (loving critics) to gain an external view on how you are perceived. Ask "what" instead of "why" or, even better, shift from asking "why am I feeling this way?" to "what are the patterns in my feelings?" or "what situations can I change?" This will help to become more logical and action oriented.

Mindfulness practices can also help to focus on internal experiences and the emotions you are feeling to help build a deeper understanding of your own internal state. Mixing humility and stress-management works for leaders who may assume that they know their own strengths and weaknesses but where perceptions from others often diverge. Building feedback systems and reflective practices under non-stressful conditions helps.

Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to process them – journaling – also helps identify patterns and gain insight into your internal world. It also helps to reflect on values and identify what is truly important to you. This typically helps to better understand motivations and ensure your actions are aligned with your core principles.

Critically observe other’s reactions to your actions being or becoming more aware to and of knee-jerk or emotional responses and analyse the situations that trigger them to develop more thoughtful responses. 

You might also want to c

uestion your own beliefs and biases to gain a more objective understanding of yourself and your world.

And finally, ask yourself when was the last time you were truly surprised by feedback? If the answer was never there may be some work to do!