the power of silence

Silence

In the very early days of my sales career I was taught to listen more than I talked and how to use the power of silence to my advantage.

Consider silence breaking out in the middle of a commercial negotiation or a meeting where common ground on what is possible is being discussed. It’ll probably be a very good reason for those involved to start to feel somewhat uncomfortable. Silence often makes us feel awkward which is why we feel so compelled to break it. It creates tension which, in the context of the role of a salesperson, is immensely powerful.

“We recognise that the project carries critical significance for you but I’m sorry it’s simply impossible for us to proceed as you’ve outlined it on those terms. What would you suggest we do?” And silence. Salespeople are taught to let the tension rise, say precisely nothing and await the suggested compromise.

But good salespeople don’t use it solely to create tension or urgency they also use it as a skill to garner a deeper understanding of their client and their needs. Skills like active listening and being comfortable in silence are two key traits of an introvert that translate beautifully into a high-performing sales role – and introverts, in my experience, are what most of the better salespeople actually are.

These are the traits that also translate directly into coaching.

At the heart of coaching is the practice powerful questioning, creating space for reflection. After asking a thought-provoking question, a coach may deliberately pause rather than filling the gap. This gives the client the mental room to process their thoughts, make connections and arrive at deeper insights. It can also signal attentive listening, communicating presence more powerfully than words and by resisting any urge to jump in a coach shows they are truly listening and respecting the client’s pace.

Silence is also a great way of allowing emotions to surface. Sometimes a client may be struggling with frustration, fear, or uncertainty and silence gives permission for those emotions to be acknowledged rather than hurried past encouraging authenticity in the conversation.

When coaches resist filling silences clients are encouraged to generate their own solutions, strengthening commitment because the ideas are theirs, not the coach’s. Ownership and accountability are at the very core of any good coaching relationship and it’s in those moments of quiet that the most powerful ways forward often emerge. It also promotes deeper thinking with clients often discovering insights after a pause, when their first “surface” answers have been spoken.

It's also a great means of developing self-awareness, simply forcing people to sit with their thoughts which often reveals assumptions, blind spots or unspoken concerns.

All of which points to the strong argument that business leaders should also adopt a similar coaching mindset.

It’s widely evidenced that leaders who do so build stronger and more capable teams, empowering employees to think for themselves, solve problems and grow their skills. Instead of giving all the answers, leaders help people find their own solutions, building confidence and resilience.

It also strongly encourages accountability and ownership by shifting responsibility back to team members. When people co-create their goals and solutions, they are more committed to following through. The approach also drives long-term performance, not just quick wins. Directive leadership may work in the short term but it can breed dependency whereas a coaching approach develops independent thinkers who can sustain performance without constant supervision.

In short, leaders with a coaching mindset shift from managing tasks to developing people, creating an environment where individuals and organisations can thrive together using silence as a way to convey respect and patience, reinforcing a safe environment where all feel heard and valued.