The ‘authentic’ leadership paradox…

I’ve posted before about the veneer I wore as an introvert in a career that I always assumed required extrovert traits to succeed. You can read about it HERE should you choose to. But the responses and feedback I got to that post made me curious as to whether authenticity in the workplace was actually an essential precursor for success.

The notion of an ‘authentic’ leader has long been linked with self-esteem but I can immediately think of numerous leaders I’ve worked with and for over the years who certainly appeared to overly advocate for their own very personal values at the expense – in my opinion at least – of the team’s.

Sometimes positive personal values such as hard work and discipline can become counterproductive if a leader imposes them too rigidly or uses them as a moral yardstick for everyone else. This style of supposedly authentic leadership can be a conflation of leadership with example. Leading by example can become intimidating rather than inspiring particularly if any failure to live up to that example is interpreted as a lack of character not a mere difference in capacity or circumstance. ‘Standard-setting’ simply becomes a silent form of judgement.

Is that what’s really required of today’s leaders though? Perhaps professionalism, emotional discipline and adaptive behaviour are more valuable in leadership than radical transparency or bringing your ‘whole self’ to work.

US businessman and venture capitalist Marc Andreessen recently advocated that employees should actually “leave your full self at home where it belongs and act like a professional and a grownup at work and in public.”

Maybe there is actually a case to be made that says leaders should actually curate a professional persona? Authenticity doesn’t have to mean total transparency. Perhaps the most effective leaders deliberately shape the version of themselves they want to present at work. They choose which aspects of their personality serve their team and organisation best and which are better kept private. This isn’t being fake - it’s being intentional. Think of it as selective authenticity - sharing enough to build trust without oversharing or burdening others with personal issues and values.

The case has been proposed previously that it’s not actually about separating the personal from professional, it’s about identifying strategies that make leaders simply better at leading in their workplace. It’s perhaps more about prioritising adapting to others versus feeling good about one’s own values.

Consider how individual authenticity may be perceived by others. Bringing an authentic sense of humour, for instance, into the workplace can be seen as an extremely authentic trait but what is hilarious to one person may be less so to another - the reality is that it may lead to a workplace reputation as being insensitive. Oversharing what’s happening in a personal life can potentially also wear away employees’ belief in an ability to lead clear-headedly for instance.

In my experience and opinion employees don’t need a leader who ‘feels everything with them’, they just need stability and consistency. A good leader knows how to manage emotions do not display them unchecked. That consistency builds psychological safety far more effectively than raw vulnerability. It is possible to be empathetic without being emotionally unpredictable.

The best leaders are also chameleons not mirrors. They adapt to what the situation and people around them dictates - more directive in crisis, more collaborative in innovation more coaching when developing talent. Leaders should be less of themselves and focus more on the persona that makes them effective and efficient in the moment.

True leadership requires knowing when to dial back one’s own values to create space for others. The goal isn’t to project beliefs - it’s to build an environment where everyone can perform at their best, not just those who resemble the leader.

The irony then is that by disciplining or editing our authenticity we may actually come across as more trustworthy and competent to others. Just a thought!